Being the youngest is good here as well. It has been fine only, except for that one
episode. I later apologized to my HOD for that though, it still had changed the
dynamics and the environment of the department which I guess wasn’t possible to
undo with an apology. But, I nonetheless went and apologized, as I had been feeling
that what happened was not good, and later when I came back to my senses after the
episode, my reaction in that moment seemed unnecessary and exaggerated. Most
important, however, was my realization that the main reason for that outburst and my
loss of control over myself was my having missed my medication. Though, taking
medication has become my topmost priority since that day, it feels sad in itself having
to depend on these medications to function normally. It seems so hopeless and
disappointing to have to keep continuing medications indefinitely to be a normal
human and a normal part of society. The saddest part however is the realization that
you can never make anyone understand this pain.
Leave a Reply